
A Complaint
Dear The BBC,
I wish to complain about a programme I have heard about/read about (delete as applicable) in the Daily Express/Daily Mail.
I was outraged to hear/read that the programme featured a gay or gays being gay/that Jonathan Ross/some blacks/a political view I disagree with/lots of tits/not enough tits/two fucks and a cunt* and I wish to whinge on like a four-year-old who has accidentally stuck its favourite bit of Lego up its bumhole.
Waaah. Waaaaaaah. Waaah.
Yrs Sincerely
————-
*Note: Two fucks and a cunt does not refer to the presenters of Top Gear, a programme which I regard as exactly the kind of thing the BBC should be making more of.
The Art of The Story of Grass
This month at Peg Powler Gallery in Stockton there will be a preview of forthcoming attractions. One of those forthcoming attractions is The Story of Grass Exhibition which will be running in June. Mr Hughes and myself are really, really looking forward to seeing it, cos we haven’t got a fucking clue what it will look like. It’ll probably involve pictures and words in some way. We have big plans! We’re going to buy some frames and put stuff in them – that’s what artists do, isn’t it? And we’d like some boxes people can open too. Anyway:
April 13th, 20th, 27th : Peg Powler Preview Show
Find out more about Peg Powler Gallery, hang out, draw, make a zine, meet people and check out our art library over a cuppa.
I will see you there, will I?
Oh You Shouldn’t Have
I feel mean, but they made me laugh (I know, it’s bad to laugh at your own stuff but then if I didn’t find it funny what would be the point?)
Ninja Beach Party
Lincoln wasn’t just about the emancipating and the maverick approach to beard-wearing. He dropped sick rhymes from time to time.
Please buy The Story of Grass. Pleeeeeeeease.
Messing With Minds. One-Man Vigilante.
Which, as a title for an interview with me, is mint but it does make me sound cooler than I really am ie not cool. I honestly don’t remember doing this interview with Mesh Magazine. In fact, I could have sworn I’d never heard of Mesh Magazine before today, but such is life when your memory is swiss-cheesed like Sam Beckett’s.
Anyway, here is an interview I suppose I must have given:
Messing With Minds. One-Man Vigilante.
It must’ve been a while ago, like last year some time, cos I didn’t try to plug The Story of Grass or anything. Have I told you about The Story of Grass, by the way? Available now, if you know where to look…
2010 Goes Mental
Sweet Jesus it’s been a heck of a year so far. My head is a little spinny because I don’t feel like I’ve had the chance to sit down recently, and when my bum doesn’t get parked occasionally the top of my head goes wibble.
It’s all making me a bit giggly. At the risk of jinxing everything, so far this year:
Me and Ms Laura Degnan may have got a job as documentary filmmakers with a new art gallery. We are supposed to make around 100 short films for them this year. Tee hee.
This week I had an audition for a TV company which wants to make comedy stuff. I am apparently now “on their radar” as an actor for either working on existing scripts or developing new ones for me to be in. Tee heeeee!
Me and Mr Gus Hughes will be exhibiting an art show at a gallery in a couple of months. What?
Work continues on the Uninvisibles sketch show, due in Edinburgh in August. Hoo-wah!
And I bought some new jeans and a jumper the other week which are quite nice. Tee hee!
I am genuinely a bit befuddled by life at the moment, but in a good way. Which makes a nice change. And even if it all comes crashing down tomorrow, I’m having a really fun and interesting time so far this year.
Quack.
Arc Shorts – The Films
I curated a short film night at the ARC in Stockton on Thursday. It went quite well, and lots of lovely people turned up. I just thought I’d put together links to all the films I screened because… well, mostly because why not?
But also because if you liked any of the films, I’d really love it if you got in touch with the filmmakers via these links and let them know. Once or twice a year I get an email from somebody just saying they’ve seen one of my films and enjoyed it, and it makes my bloody day. It’s a grand feeling, so why not make a filmmaker happy today?
The films were:
Gash by Rong
http://www.bbc.co.uk/filmnetwork/films/p004pyyx
Le Cheval 2.0 by Stephen Scott-Heyward and Alex Kirkland
http://www.bbc.co.uk/filmnetwork/films/p005f919
The Tales of Donkey the Whale 1 by Chris Corner
Monday Morning by John AC Allen
Head Shot by Dennis Heaton
Cold Calling by Nick Mackie
http://www.bbc.co.uk/filmnetwork/films/p004tq6p
BigBoy 74 by Tom Marshall
http://www.bbc.co.uk/filmnetwork/films/p004qjcz
Please Do Not Put Any Ducks Into This Chute by Big Red Button
Six Shooter by Martin McDonagh (clip)
Plus! The three that got away (wanted to show them but couldn’t for various reasons)
Astronauts by Matthew Walker
Sunday by Nacho Vigalondo
How To Tell When A Relationship Is Over by Tony Roche
Where Are You?

Reproduction of original scrawled at AJ Garret’s Bad Art Academy, 22/02/10.
