Treat Level Raised

Treat level has today been raised to “cake”, the second-highest level of treat there is. This doesn’t mean you will have cake tomorrow, nor that anyone has mentioned getting you a cake, nor that anyone you know will have cake. We’re not even 100% certain that cake actually exists at this point.

Look, stop thinking about cake would you? You’re cake daft, the lot of you.

Here’s a picture of cake I did once.

4-pound-cake

I Believe I Can Flyer

Heavy Petting are off to Edinburgh for the third time. And have we got a show for you!? Hard to say, really, but we definitely have this flyer. I roused my lazy arse and wrote some new classifieds after coasting on the same ones for two years (including a very ill-advised advert for Lindsay Lohan’s vagina that I found funny but everyone else… not so much).

flyer 2014 back

It’s just as well we changed it: Lindsay Lohan’s vagina is probably really unfashionable by now. I don’t know, it’s quite hard to keep up with these things.