Jack Handey

I am currently very much enjoying Jack Handey. He may sound like a euphemism for male masturbation, but he is funnier than that.

The plan isn’t foolproof. For it to work, certain things must happen:
—The door to the vault must have accidentally been left open by the cleaning woman.
—The guard must bend over to tie his shoes and somehow he gets all the shoelaces tied together. He can’t get them apart, so he takes out his gun and shoots all his bullets at the knot. But he misses. Then he just lies down on the floor and goes to sleep.
—Most of the customers in the bank must happen to be wearing Nixon masks, so when we come in wearing our Nixon masks it doesn’t alarm anyone.

From The Plan by Jack Handey

Jack Handey’s Deep Thoughts

Plan B

A short film we made for Writers’ Block and Company TSU’s Benjamin Likely’s Palace of Varieties show, a big multimedia theatrical event thingy that took place this week, based on a load of daft futuristic sci-fi ideas about bees, black holes and anti-aging face cream I wrote on the back of a toffee wrapper one afternoon. I played Mr Likely. You should have seen it! I should have seen it, but I didn’t. I hope it was good.

Babies of the Future

Um… what?

Looking at lots of cartoons lately, ‘cos I seem to be writing for animation more and more. This week I’m pitching for two projects, one ten minute animated short I’m doing with Mr Ben Klimmek called Long Shot (which will definitely win a BAFTA when it’s made) and a feature-length stop-frame animation called Clowntown which I’m writing with Mr Mole Hill. It’s a town full of clowns! This shit writes itself!

I’m also working on a short animation called Light Music, again with Mr Ben Klimmek, which should, fingers crossed, be featured on the BBC Comedy website when it’s done.

And then I shall sleep.