A Walk Around the Lake

I didn’t manage a walk around a lake today, but I did stand by a frozen duckpond and that seemed to do the trick. Nothing like a bit of water to look at when you’re having a ponder. The ducks were all looking at it and having a think too. They were thinking “well, it looks pretty and sparkly but it’s not much good for bobbing in. I wonder if this man has bread?”. And I was thinking “Jeez, is that all you ducks think about? Bread?” And they’re all like “Jeez, is that all he thinks about? Ducks?”. They got me.

Hope you found a lake or similar clump of water to have a think by, if you needed one. x

All My Friends Are Superheroes

I’ve just finished this book – didn’t take long, it’s only 108 pages – and I loved it. It’s a truly sweet and surreal love story, set in a world where superheroes are real, only some of them can turn things invisible and some of them are just really good at being noisy on a motorcycle.

The language used is brilliantly simple and surreally funny, like Vonnegut meets Pratchett, and the story is so much more personal and affecting than a story about a man in love with a superhero should be. It’s silly, funny, magical and achingly romantic.

Read it and realise that all your friends are superheroes too.

Rare Exports Inc.

Well this is nice. Despite the script sometimes sounding like it was translated from Finnish to English by somebody from the moon, the narration works well and I proper lol’d from around the 5 minute mark.

This short was made in 2003, and the director has since expanded the premise into a feature – Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

The trailer has a great last line…

Hooray For The Internet!

This 10 second animation of mine has quietly racked up almost 17,000 hits on YouTube. How did THAT happen? Couldn’t tell you. But the great thing about the internet is that people can give you instant feedback on your work. And out of nearly 17,000 hits how many bits of feedback have I got? Like, 10 or something. Still, it’s not the quantity, it’s the quality…

i dont get it, oooooooo lol

lol good one

thats so wrong, but so right at the same time, on many levels! nicely played.

didn’t make any sense at all

what. the. fuck.

wtf what was that?²

that was pretty funny, I’d say.

wtf what was that?

that was so dumb

Thank you, The Internet! Lol.


I was sorting through some stuff today and found a little envelope filled with pictures of me, so I did this. And now it’s freaking me out a little because I don’t remember being half these people. I mean, who are they? And why do so many of them have beards?

Atlas Hands

Wistful. By Benjamin Francis Leftwich. I hope you’re having a lovely Sunday night. x

(The other song I’m loving this week is Fuck You by Cee Lo Green. Is that wrong? It’s the best, most joyful musical “up yours!” I’ve heard since Yes by McAlmont and Butler. Anyway, that’s more of a Saturday tune, innit? So Atlas Hands it is.)

Short Stories

About a year ago I was writing a short story every week (and by short I mean between 500-800 words). I was going through an interesting time back then so they’re all dead metaphorical about how awful the world is when you’re sad and misunderstood and all that, but there’s jokes and references to crumping, ketamine and the final battle between Christ and Antichrist on the plains of Megiddo so, you know… something for everyone, really.

I would generally write them on a Thursday, pop ’em on the blog every Friday and pretty much forget about them. But lately I’ve noticed there’s a few places online that accept submissions, and a burgeoning zine scene occuring in the area just now, so I’ve been flinging them around and a couple of places have accepted them*.

So! You can read Them Bloody Kids and I Don’t Know Why You’re With Me at Friction Magazine:

Them Bloody Kids

I Don’t Know Why You’re With Me

It’s not really a magazine, but then I’m not really a short story writer, so we’re all good.

And another story, Brian Isn’t Coming Out Tonight, will be seeing print in issue two of King Ink’s zine I’m Afraid of Everyone.

You can come along to the launch at Python Gallery on Dec 10th at 7pm. I’ll be doing a reading and stuff, and there’ll be nice lamps and hats. It’ll be good!

*and more than a couple have rejected them, but I won’t be blogging about THAT, no sir. Maybe I’ll write another short story containing thinly-veiled allusions to how unfair everything is instead.

The Jump

This film was made for Flip For The Boro, a Writers’ Block event in which five teams comprising a director, two actors, a composer and two Writers’ Block members were given a Teesside location and had to make a film in four hours. This is what my team made.

We came up with the idea in double-quick time, worked out what scenes we’d need and then got filming. It was a total team effort – everybody threw ideas into the mix, and we all had a go at filming bits. All the dialogue is improvised, which is why it’s possibly a little overlong, and the plot stretches credibility a tad but on the whole I think it’s pretty good for four hours work, and there’s talk of redoing it properly.

Bill Fellows, Tees actor extraordinaire (him off Downton Abbey and the voice of Frank’s Factory Flooring) plays a blinder, as does Jennifer Nelson, and I play a git of a director. Again. Hmmm.

Oli Heffernan, him who is Detective Instinct, came up with five brilliant tunes on the day, but sadly the nature of the film meant we could only use a couple of snippets, which is a shame cos I love his stuff. He’s worked with Mike Watt, man!

Anyway. What do you think?