Peg Powler + Arc: Words

Tuesday night at 6pm is the first chance to see February’s set of exhibitions happening on Level 2 in Stockton’s art centre, ARC, curated by Peg Powler. You can see the exhibitions anytime throughout February (Monday-Saturday, whenever the Arc is open).

Part of the exhibition is a section called ‘Words’ – a themed exhibition featuring:

-Michael Duckett
-David B (of The Modern Lonely)
-AJ Garrett
-James Harris
-Elle Green
-Tom Flynn
-Aimée Charlotte
-Josie Long

I have 27 manageably-sized bits of art hanging up there, each one throbbing with up to three levels of meaning and seven possible emotional responses. Email me if you’d like a set of guidelines as to how best to “enjoy” the work, but the main advice I can give is to stand around two to three hundred metres away and imagine they’re brilliant.

I’ll be at the launch. See you there?

Shark Ridden Waters

Sharks frighten me, with their grumpy faces and cold, dead eyes, like David Mitchell’s eyes, but this song is not about grumpy sharks, it’s about splitting up with a French girl. The French frighten me, with their grumpy faces etc etc…

What a gorgeous song! Blissed-out pop with lush harmonies and a dude with a beard playing a plinky-plonky solo on a toy phone. Nice work, bearded dude. From the bearded dude’s forthcoming solo album Hotel Shampoo.

Watching The Grass Grow

The Story of Grass #4 will be launched at Peg Powler Gallery on Tuesday 8th February, 6pm as we also launch our new Harris + Hughes exhibition at the same venue. Hughes is busy drawing octopises and volcanoes and I have done some jokes about sharks and Kiera Knightley so now we only have around six pages left to fill. Expect filler!

I put together the prototype cover this afternoon. Gus says: “this is a very realistic depiction indeed. one poor man lacking the strength to even stand up and the other has a sore hand from drawing. just like real life”.

The Story of Grass. Just like real life. Before I go, let’s remind ourselves of what the lovely Bob Mortimer says about it:

‘I liked The Story of Grass. I laughed until I stopped then started up again more firmly.’ – Bob Mortimer

28 pages, with all twenty-six letters of the alphabet, all seven of the colours in the rainbow and three very bad words represented, you’d be very foolish indeed not to buy three or so copies.

Hippy Monday

Because really, sometimes you need 24 hippies in quasi-military outfits singing about being excited and delighted to get your week jumpstarted in style. What are the Spree up to these days?

Bonus: The Polyphonic Spree cover The Psychedelic Furs. Everyone wins!

Words: Peg Powler + Arc Exhibition

This February, on the first floor of Stockton’s Arc, the splendid Mr Garrett and Miss Little of Peg Powler Gallery start curating an art space. Their first exhibition? ‘Words’ – a group show featuring; James Harris, David B (of ‘The Modern Lonely’), Michael Duckett, Amy Williams, AJ Garrett, Elle Green. Paintings by Ex-Pink Grease- Stuart Faulkner plus a solo show by: Alyson Agar. The Peg Powler Permanent Collection will be displayed from February to April.

They’re framing my A-Z of Writing. Fancy!

Eric Wareheim

Eric Wareheim (I think he plays “Tim” in Tim and Eric: Awesome Show, Great Job!) makes pop videos. They’re like the most unsettling nightmares, the kind that keep you on edge for hours after you’ve woken, only set to music (and occasionally Maroon 5).

This one, for punk band Health, is the most overtly horrific thing he’s done so far (apart from making me listen to Maroon 5). It’s horrible and mesmerising. Catchy tune too!

There’s more of this sick filth here, if you’re a fan of feeling a bit wrong.

Fact File #11: The Octopus

The octopus is the fourth most intelligent creature on Earth, behind humans, dolphins and my dog Chris. Honestly, it’s like he really understands what you say to him! And he looks really thoughtful sometimes. OK, he only got a 2:2 in his media studies degree, but he was quite poorly that June and to be honest he hardly revised at all.

The octopus got its name from seven-year-old Hannah Remington in 1986. She entered a Blue Peter “Name This Icky Glob of Whatever” competition and won a badge and some book tokens.

Contrary to popular belief the plural of “octopus” is not “octopi”, because the word “octopus” does not come from the Latin, it comes from a seven-year-old girl. The actual plural of “octopus” is “octopises”.

The blue-ringed octopus is one of the deadliest creatures on Earth. One dose of its venom can kill up to 26 people. Although, to be honest, all species of octopus are deadly, depending on how many of them you try to put in your mouth in one go.

Octopises are cold-blooded, like Ann Widdicombe.

Octopises have three hearts, which is three more than Ann Widdicombe. They are also better dancers, look more attractive in lipstick and, despite being millions of years old, hold more progressive views on homosexuality.

Male octopises have sex more times than Ann Widdicombe ever will i.e. once. They die shortly afterwards. Mating is brief, ugly and the female octopus will often eat her male suitor, which is kind of what I imagine sex with Ann Widdicombe would be like. I really must stop trying to imagine what sex with Ann Widdicombe would be like. I’d rather fuck an octopus.

Octopises rarely fart, as by the time they have worked out which leg to lift the moment has gone.

Octopises are masters of camouflage, and can transform themselves to resemble many other sea creatures using only stage makeup and a series of false moustaches.

You can buy octopises quite cheap but man, the replacement ink costs a fortune.

More facts next time, fact fans!