Beastlies: The Probiotic Yoggoth

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The Probiotic Yoggoth looks awful and tastes even worse, but if you can swallow a Yoggoth whole it will eliminate any stomach problems you may have, by eating your stomach. It will then eliminate any kidney problems, liver problems and, ultimately, any problems you may be experiencing or causing for other people. Useful.

Beastlies: The Furry Perdling

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If you have lost something, and you say this simple rhyme:

O Perdling, O Perdling

Won’t you help me find this thing?

…then up to seven business days later the Perdling will email you a series of questions, such as”where did you see it last?” or “is it in your pocket?”

Five days after that it will appear and point somewhere that the item definitely isn’t, to help you eliminate that area from your enquiries.

Then it will eat its way into your face and lay its furry eggs in your brain. Basically, don’t say the rhyme, is what I’m getting at.

 

Beastlies: Cheryl

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That word you thought was on the tip of your tongue? It’s not. It’s on the tip of Cheryl’s. She sticks her tongue into your head and steals the word from you, swallowing it whole. Then, two days later, when it’s of no use to you, she regurgitates it and and spits it back into your brain. She’s a complete… a total… oh, what’s the word…