The Flapping Fanny
At times of great personal crisis the flapping fanny will appear, running round and round in circles, screaming “what are we going to do? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?”. Obviously the first thing to do is kick the annoying little bastard over the nearest wall, before running round and round in circles screaming “NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!?” and hoping another flapping fanny appears that you can kick.

The Bulb-Headed Dribbling Nuisance
Sometimes you may be tempted to search for the hero inside yourself. If you do it properly, and really push your hand in up to the elbow and have a rummage, you are most likely to find this: the bulb-headed dribbling nuisance inside yourself. By all means keep looking for a hero but you won’t find one.

The Six-Titted Irrelevance
Picture the scene: this distracting little miscreant has popped up and is following you around, singing painfully tuneless sea shanties and slapping your shins with its four slimy tentacles, basically making your life a misery, but every time you try to talk to someone about it they say “well I don’t see how that’s relevant”. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THAT?

What is Inktober?

What is a monster?*

*It’s a monster