Edinburgh to get Petted.

Well, we’ve just booked outselves a run at the Edinburgh Fringe 2012.

August 16th-26th, 11.05pm at The Alcove, Bar 50.

It’s going to be messy.

The award-winning* Heavy Petting will make you laugh your socks off (bring spares) with their sketches, jokes and faces. An hour of relentless hilarity – your sides will ache, then split, then catastrophically and irreversibly rupture. You’ll be wishing for a dull moment THAT WILL NEVER COME as you try to stop your kidneys sliding out of the side of you.

Between them Heavy Petting have written or made stuff for BBC2 (Shooting Stars), BBC3 (Comedy Shuffle), Radio 4 (The Wondermentalist Cabaret), Dave (Totally Viral) and Take Hart (a painting of a fish).

Heavy Petting: we smell funny. It’s a start.

*25 Metres Crawl, Best Chutney (Hot) and Blue Peter badge (gold).

See you there!


Over August I will be writing and performing in Brown Eyed Boy‘s Alchemy sketch show in Edinburgh. The gist is that a bunch of writers/performers/stand ups get together on a Thursday, bringing scripts and ideas. We have a big read-through, vote on the sketches/ideas we like the best, and somehow on the Saturday night we produce a brand-new ninety-minute live sketch show. It’s crazy exhilarating, and so much fun. Basically, it’s the sort of show I’ve dreamed of doing for years. I am a bit chuffed to have lucked into it.

We’ve done it twice already and the shows have been really strong, but next month is when shit gets real ‘cos we’re doing it for a paying audience throughout the fringe. And there’ll be guest presenters each night, and some of them will be off the telly. Telly people! The best kind of people! Susan Calman hosted the last two – she was brilliant and really got involved in the writing process. Her musical version of the life of Rosa Klebb was something to behold.

Fancy coming along? You’ll find details here. Hopefully see you there!


Well, I’m back from Edinburgh. My goodness, what a week! I had such a lovely time. Did about 14 gigs, met loads of great people from all over the world, danced til daft o’clock with half of ’em, failed to win* my So You Think You’re Funny heat, and I ate a haggis.

Haggis is quite tasty! For a bit.

My stand-up improved immeasurably while I was there – but I still have so much to learn, and so many more jokes to write. I guess it’s time to start thinking about either stepping up the ambition, working harder, travelling round to do as many gigs as I can, or, alternatively, maybe giving it up entirely.

Or perhaps there’s a grey area in the middle somewhere. I’ve always been happy to plod on at my own pace but I can’t escape the fact that time’s ticking on. How long do you chase a dream, Harris? Particularly when your default speed of pursuit is “slow saunter”. Dreams move fast, man. You think you’ve grabbed one, and, whoosh! It’s off and running over the next hill.

Some dreams are worth chasing, some are not. The trick is working out which is which. That dream I had last night about the car with a hot dog oven in the glove box? Let it go. The dream about one day flying over the rainbow to Emerald City, the mystical realm of magic and music and stripey socks – hell, I’ll follow the Yellow Brick Road for that one. The comedy? We’ll see.

If I only had a brain.

In other news, Moon Shot UK was a runner up in Propeller TV’s Comedy Fest competition, judged by David Nobbs and Toby Foster amongst others, so that’s nice. Comedyfest will air on Propeller TV, Sky Channel 195, on Monday 14th September at 10pm.


*or, to put it more positively, succeeded in losing


Looks like I’m off to the Edinburgh Fringe for a few days – the plan is that I’ll be there from Saturday 15th to Thursday 20th of August, and hopefully I’ll be practising my 7 minute So You Think You’re Funny bid for glory at various venues until it becomes a beautiful comedic butterfly fluttering above the heads of the audience, dropping glittery little butterfly plops of amusement into their open minds. Or something.  

What can I say? Right now the transient, empty approval of a bunch of strangers sitting in a darkened room is all I have going for me. Well, that and my newly-pink tiger t-shirt (Don’t mix whites with colours, you dolt. Now my favourite shirt looks like something Apollo Creed would wear. Mind, it also looks like something I would wear. Roar.) And if you’re going to escape from horrible reality for a bit, it might as well be to a city that sells nice porridge.

Many thanks to the Laughing Penguin crew for the offer of a lift and a place to stay. Much appreciated.