Stunning preview art by Gus Hughes for… well, we don’t really know what it’s going to be. The Two Armies was written as a short animated screenplay, but maybe it’s a comic, or an illustrated short story, or a set of commemorative coasters. We just don’t know. Still, isn’t this gorgeous? Whatever it is…
Mustard is a darned cool little humour magazine, full of funny articles and comic strips and excellent interviews with the likes of Michael Palin, Alan Moore, and Peep Show writers Bain & Armstrong. I got a couple of cartoons* in issue one, and I got quite giddy – it was for sale in Borders and everything. Oh, there’s a big Graham Linehan interview in there too and lots of other funny stuff but for me it’s mostly about my two little cartoons. They really tie the magazine together. Anyway, you can now read that legendary first issue online here. For freesies!
Mustard is something of a labour of love for creator and publisher Alex Musson, so if you like what you see, why not tell a friend, or get in touch with Alex. The more people buy the mag, the sooner he’ll be able to print issue 5.
As an addendum, some Mustard content will be given away with Alan Moore’s interesting-looking new project, Dodgem Logic. The massive hairy magician seems to be trying to recapture the glory days of the fanzine, and good luck to him, I say. And not just cos he might send the snake god Glycon to devour my soul or bite my bum or something.
*one of them was drawn by Michaelangelo. It turned out quite well.
I know, it’s old and you’ve probably heard it already, but this is a great bit of stand up by comic Tom Gleeson. It does what stand up does best, shining a light on something and making you look at it in a whole new way. In this case, singer-songwriter (and walking example of rhyming slang*) James Blunt’s ubiquitous bloody love song becomes the creepy ramblings of a perv on a train.
For me it’s the whiney anguish in Gleeson’s voice as he argues with his imaginary girlfriend that makes this work so well (“of course I think you’re beautiful!”.) Quality performance.
*man, that is such a cheap joke, I really do apologise.
David Cross is, as ever, brilliant in this odd and slightly confusing little sketch from Mr Show.
Thank you to everybody who took the time to write ickle stories. They were all excellent, and some of them made me lol or rofl or pmsl or whatever it is you kids do instead of laughing these days. Anyway, here’s a selection:
Aliens. Choose Brian Blessed as disguise.
– Rofl Lundgren (perpetrator of Kriss Akabusi Sex Stories)
It looked dead, then spoke loudly.
– Gus Hughes (illustrator extraordinaire)
So, the anal probes were unnecessary?
– Kevin Murphy (comedy writer, journalist, brown food obsessive)
Daleks land, feeling randy. Dustbins violated.
– Bob Fischer (Britain’s randiest hairiest DJ since DLT’s head imploded like a furry black hole. Ew, bad image, sorry.)
2165AD recession: International Rescue submit invoices.
Aliens vs Predator: late kick off.
Asteroid misses. Humans exhale, tilt axis.
Creature from Black Lagoon dredges pond.
Hiding police phone boxes, Brigadier laughs.
– Kevin Jon Davies (animator on the Hitchhiker’s TV series. Honestly. Swear down! Legend.)
We died. Then things got interesting.
(note: yeah, that’s really it. Inspired by Wired Magazine‘s 6 word sci-fi story challenge. And Thursday night laziness.)
A1 super-special bonus tiny sci-fi tales:
When worlds collide, alien continents kiss.
Jesus returned, forgot why, left again.
Theory my story chaos affected short.
Richard Dawkins awoke in heaven. “Oopsie.”
The aliens were impressed: Ferrero Rocher!
It’s fun! Why not try it yourself – write me one in the comments section…
******
Six Word Sci Fi by Harris
more tiny tales
The only good mime is a dead mime apart from this mime performed by Johann Lipowitz and Beth off Neighbours, which makes me giggle and also, for some reason, get a bit misty of eye every time I see it. A happy mist, mind you. It’s just so wilfully, pointlessly daft and joyful. Pop the fog lights on and enjoy.
The opening titles to Storybook International, a CITV show from the 80’s. It served as a signal that the next 20 minutes would be spent watching a tedious badly-dubbed foreign-made morality tale, and wondering why He-Man couldn’t be on every night.
Which is why I’ve used the flamboyantly-dressed herald of disappointment as the avatar for Friday’s Short Stories. It seemed appropriate.
A darkly comic fable set in the Budapest metro, Kontroll is a film about rival bands of ticket inspectors – and it’s actually much more entertaining than I’ve just made it sound. There are dark forces at work on the metro, causing a number of apparent suicides. And there’s a girl in a teddy costume.
It’s all highly symbolic, and frankly sometimes a little baffling, but it’s always funny and engaging, and there are enough arresting images, intriguing characters and crazy ideas thrown into the mix to keep you interested to the end. And it has a couple of brilliant chase sequences to boot. And if you recognise teddy girl’s father, it’s because he was in Radiohead’s Karma Police video (which drove me demented until I worked it out).
Apparently Nimród Antal, Kontroll’s writer/director, will be working on the new Predator film. Dunno whether that’s a good thing. I mean, I like Predator movies as much as the next (geeky) man, but I’d rather see another offbeat, personal tale instead of a franchise-servicer, but hey, maybe it’ll be both.
A soundtrack to this week’s short story. “He hasn’t dropped them, forgot them or anything. It’s just too heavy for Superman to lift.” Mm.
Ramshackle Charm 