The Flaming Selfie
This jolly jasper is a rum old conundrum. He appears to be as happy as Larry, constantly photographing himself grinning like a Cheshire beachball, as though his life literally couldn’t be any better. Don’t follow him on Facebook, unless you want your life to feel empty and joyless in comparison. Oh, feeling “blessed” again are you? How lovely!

But… his head is on fire. There’s flames coming off his face. That’s got to hurt hasn’t it?

I hope it does. I hope it absolutely knacks and that he cries himself to sleep every night, in the vain hope that the tears will dampen the flames, but they won’t, and the tears are really salty so it stings even more. Stupid happy-looking clot.

Or, look, maybe he’s an inspirational lesson to us all, smiling through his adversity. So brave!

Nah.