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The Therewolf
The main problem with werewolves is that you’re never sure where to find them. They are brilliant at hiding, which is why nobody’s ever actually seen one. Therewolves are really easy to find. They are just there. No, not there. There. No, you’re looking in the wrong direction. There it is. There.

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Big Spider
Normal spiders are horrifying enough but just look at this one. IT’S GOT A FACE! AND TOES! Imagine how icky a spider’s toes might be, then realise that this one has got 8 x 6 toes! How icky is that? YOU DO THE MATHS! (Because I literally can’t. 8 x 6 – what, is that… 30-something? A lot of toes anyhow.)
Also, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but this spider is definitely not more scared of you than you are of him.

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Frankenstein’s Leftovers
You know how it is: on Sunday you have all the ingredients for something really special, but on Monday you’ve got to make do with whatever didn’t get used the day before: one torso and five evil/insane/evil and insane legs. He painted a face on it so it would look friendlier. It is quite good at football, and has no brain, just like a footballer.

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Satan’s Cheerleader
If you ever find yourself trying, really trying, to do something, you may hear the flapping of leather wings above you. If you look up, you might catch a glimpse of Satan’s Cheerleader, cheerily letting you know that you’re rubbish at whatever it is you’re attempting. I heard those wings just now, and a cry of “my face isn’t that wonky, you cack-handed imbecile”. I just smiled and kept on drawing.

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Dark Lord Statin
A denizen of one of the outer regions of Hell (near Redcar), the Dark Lord Statin lowers cholesterol levels by hacking off your arms, legs, buttocks etc with his rusty sword. The weight literally drops off you. Although the side effects include asymmetry and death, he’s still quite a popular alternative to diet and exercise.

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Imp
Bellends. Total bloody bellends. Imps are wild and uncontrollable, seemingly existing only to follow their whims, no matter who they may annoy or irritate or accidentally decapitate or push out of a window for chuckles. Imps are full of boundless energy and a limitless capacity for malevolent fun. Not to be confused with children, which are worse.