Nag nag nag. Happy Sunday!
Ecological Disaster Funnies
Giving the twitching corpse of planet Earth one last kick for a giggle.
David Zucker’s How Not To Do It
David Zucker sez:
In writing “The Naked Gun 2.5: The Smell of Fear”, I relied on 15 simple rules formulated in 20 years of writing, producing and directing comedy with my brother, Jerry, and partner Jim Abrahams. It has been said that comedy is all but impossible to teach – I have never once read a book about it – but we found it was possible to list certain things not to do. These rules are listed below in no particular order. And please don’t try them at home.
1. Joke On A Joke. We never try to do two jokes at the same time. When Leslie Neilson, who plays the role of Lieut. Frank Drebin of the Los Angeles Police Department, delivers a punchline, he always does it straight; he never tries to be funny on top of it. Likewise if there is something going on in the background, the foreground action must be straight and vice versa.
2. Unrelated Background. A joke happening in the background must be related in some way to the action in the foreground. A good illustration of this rule occurs in “Naked Gun 2.5” as Leslie Neilson complains to George Kennedy over drinks, “Is it just me, Ed, or is the whole world crazy?” As George tries to reassure him that “no, it’s just a small percentage of the population,” the waiter turns to leave and we see he’s naked under his apron. Unfortunately, half the audience fails to notice this because they’re still laughing at the silly drink the waiter has brought the lieutenant. This is a blatant violation of the joke-on-a -joke rule but at least now they’ll all have to come back to see the movie again.
3. Acknowledgement. Actors in the foreground must ignore jokes happening behind them. In “Airplane!”, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges engage in an argument, while behind them watermelons crash down from the ceiling and Indian spears thud into the walls. The actors do a fine job of ignoring the spears and watermelons, but because this bit violated Rule number 2 audiences still didn’t laugh. All in all a disappointment.
More at the link.
Friday’s Short Story
No, I won’t be coming out tonight. You know why. Don’t make me… It’s the sharks, all right? There. I am frightened of sharks. I worry about shark attacks.
Oh fine, yes, statistics. I know that statistically you are more likely to be attacked by a shark when you’re in, like, the sea or whatever, but think about this: it is when you least expect an attack that you are at your most vulnerable.
Well it’s easy to say, isn’t it? Oh, don’t be scared. People tell me not to be scared, that it would be quite astonishing if a shark were to attack me here, sitting as I am in a room some twenty-five metres above sea level. Yes, but then the attacking shark would be able to turn my amazement to its advantage, swiftly overpowering me before I regained my composure.
Oh God. Sharks are prehistoric killing machines. They practice. I wouldn’t stand a chance. I can’t deal with sneaky dinosaurs at my age. They can shed up to fifty thousand teeth in their lifetime. I have, like, thirty-two, tops. You do the maths.
Also, also, I cut my finger this morning. If there is a shark even on the outskirts of town it knows where I am. Sharks can smell blood a mile away. I don’t know how you can stand there and not be frightened of sharks. They can smell blood. They can smell fear.
What, that smell? Listen: shark meat tastes of piss. This is why nothing eats sharks. Well, it’s one reason. Anyway. I just figured if my meat tasted of piss I could be safer. But then they might just chew me and spit me out. Like salty, wet chewing tobacco. I don’t know. It’s not a watertight theory but it’s all I’ve got.
These are the thoughts that will keep me awake tonight, as I lie in the dark listening for the warning signs of an imminent land-based shark attack.
I wish I knew what the warning signs of an imminent land-based shark attack might sound like.
******
Shark Attack by Harris
more tiny tales
The Answer Yam: War on Terror
He’s just as animated as an ordinary yam.
If anyone has a question for the Tuber of Truth™, send it to me and I’ll make sure it gets passed along.
The Big Push
The exceptionally talented Gus Hughes (mi Chad Banger compadre) designed this animation. And it’s currently shortlisted for the Virgin Media Shorts competition, amongst 11 other films, selected from 1400 entries (including my own Moon Shot UK, but I’m not bitter, the big bastard BASTARDS!)
It looks bloody lovely, doesn’t it?
For more incredible Gusliness, visit his blog, here.
Writing BBC Radio Sitcoms
The BBC Writer’s Room offers these tips for would-be radio sitcom writers:
Avoid characters, themes and situations that have recently been done. Radio is not like film, where a hit will spawn a host of imitators. A successful sitcom series on Radio 4 guarantees the network won’t want anything similar for some time after.
Avoid trying to be too topical, especially given that the length of the commissioning process will make a flash-in-the-pan topic date quickly. Stories and situations that resurface frequently include history, space, the media, parallel universes, school reunions, and the afterlife.
The idea has to be one that genuinely excites you. Bring your own unique comic insight into a particular situation or world, and you can probably only do that if you really care about it.
Having too narrow a theme can be as dangerous as having no focus at all. Many new writers stop at one idea and overwork it – try to work in sub-themes as well as a main theme.
All your characters should have an original slant, comic potential and mileage. They need to have a comic flaw or two – some weakness that keeps getting them into trouble. They should interact with each other to create comedy, but should also remain believable. Characters should be likable, even if they aren’t necessarily ‘nice’. Sympathy comes through making your characters suffer for their mistakes, or by making them blissfully unaware of their faults.
Telling stories is important. The main story should probably relate to your main over-riding theme.Make sure the humour is driven by the characters and stories, and not just about funny lines put into character’s mouths. Avoid characters sniping at each other ‘in a funny way’. Many writers assume that writing comedy for radio means just writing gags. It’s worth limiting the number of formulaic lines – eg “That’s like a cross between…” or “That’s about as healthy as…” or “I haven’t seen anything as bad as that since…”
Avoid factual exposition. The audience very rarely needs to know much about a character’s past or how they came to be in the situation they’re in. How much do you know about the pasts of the Steptoes, Basil Fawlty, Del Boy or Blackadder?
(Link found via World of Comedy)
Sunday Simon
A lazy Sunday is interrupted by some religious dude. I hate it when that happens!
The Prophecies of Nostradamus: Part 1
A short, stupid cartoon about a tall, clever man.
People sometimes ask how I got the “cardboard” effect. Um… it’s cardboard. All filmed live, with just a bit of animation added (the flame, the eyes). The opening involved building a little lego carriage for my camera, and pushing it across a table hoping the extremely flimsy trees wouldn’t flop over this time.
I’m pretty sure that’s how they did the Saruman’s tower bits in Lord of the Rings, too.
The Sitcom Trials
The Sitcom Trials is the show where new sitcoms compete, the audience vote for their favourite, and they only see the ending of the winner.
Having been in hibernation since the end of 2005, the show they called “Comedy History” returned in 2007 to win the Fringe Report Award for Best Encourager Of New Talent, thanks in a very great partto new producers Declan Hill & Simon Wright, who will be producing the new 2008 season too.
Interested writers and performers jump on board now, it’s all about to kick off again.
Well I’m interested. It’s like Gladiators but instead of hitting each other with big sticks, contenders go head to head with situations that lead to hilarious consequences.
…although the thought of writers hitting each other with big sticks does have its appeal.
The deadline is August the 15th.
Ramshackle Charm 