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Robot Man

This was the first single from The Aliens, made up of two ex-members of the Beta Band and King Creosote’s brother, and isn’t it amazing? Gloriously meaningless and catchy, it mashes 60’s pop with 70’s funk and I’ve just been robot dancing round the room and looking very cool indeed while I did it. And the video is just a big, happy mess. The Aliens never did anything else this good, but never mind. This’ll do, won’t it?

I am a sketch robot man today – written four, one more to go before bed. It’s all for a super-secret job which I almost certainly won’t get, but if I do… oh man, if I do…

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The Woman Who Loved A Tree

“Fucking amazing” – Marc Price, director of fucking amazing zombie film Colin.

Made in 48 Hours, from script to screen. I think it’s the best-looking film I’ve been involved in – it was great fun playing with the Sony EX3 camera we borrowed (even though it took us a little while to remember to focus the thing). The script’s ok – can see lots of little bits we could have improved, but it really was written on the fly so it is what it is, man. The performances – can’t fault ’em. Just brilliant all down the line. Anyway, hope you like it. CAUTION – it’s a bit rude…

Leave a comment Posted on blather, interviews, me me me

James Harris says…

Oh God. Teesside art, culture and budgerigars zine Making It Look Accidental issue 2 launches tonight and there’s an interview with me in it. Criminy! Way to alienate your key demographic. I really was in a tetchy mood that day.

The rest of the zine, incidentally, is brilliant. Funny, rude, life-affirming stuff. Buy it! Read it! Just remember that when I talk about the human race, I’m probably not referring to you.

Get both issues of Making It Look Accidental here.

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The Woman Who Loved A Tree

The weekend before last Miss Laura Degnan and I made a film for the 48 Hour Film Project in Newcastle. At 7pm on Friday we were told we had to make a mockumentary (I know, but it was a totally random genre allocation) which included a mirror, a tree specialist called Pat Dobson and the line “I can see it on your face”, and we had exactly two days to do the whole thing.

At 10am on the Saturday we had nothing. Literally no idea what we were going to do. At 12pm on Saturday we had a carful of people driving up to Newcastle to shoot a heartwarming tale of love and leaves in Leazes Park, with an unfinished script and a brilliant camera which Laura and I had no idea how to use. And at 7pm on Sunday we handed in the seven minute epic. It’s got everything! Talking plants, a man watering himself, a tree with a tie on it and lots and lots of lovely swearing. Like, really good swearing. We’ll put it online soon, I reckon, so you can see what you think.

Anyway, last Sunday was the screening and awards ceremony and… We won! We got the audience award for best film, plus jury awards for best film, best writing, best directing and best actress for Beth Wilcock, who played the eponymous Woman. Plus we got special mentions for the music (Tree Lovin’ by Tim Marshall, written and recorded on the Sunday morning) and best actor (for me and my Hawaiian shirt). The film goes on to compete at the Miami International Film Festival in March. Can anyone lend me 37p towards the bus fare?

ps You can see the film here

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I’m James

Illustration hurriedly scrawled for issue 2 of Making It Look Accidental, Middlesbrough’s latest zine, which launches at 7pm on Friday 22nd October at Writers’ Block on Albert Road. I’m interviewed in it. I seem to remember I was in a bit of a grump that day, so if I happened to, say, wish death on the whole of the human race during the course of the interview, and I’m not saying I did, but if I did, I take it back. A lot of you I wouldn’t even want to see maimed.

I’ll be doing a “turn” at the launch, maybe a reading or some jokes, or… dunno what exactly, but maybe see you there? Unless my wish comes true, of course. Apologies in advance if it does.

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“52 Takes” Harris

So here’s me in a recording studio in Wootton Bassett doing ADR for the short film Pleasure Droid 3000 and earning the nickname James “52 Takes” Harris. (I also got James “Cock” Harris, but I’m not sure why.)

ADR stands for Automatic Dialogue Replacement – basically redubbing the lines you said while shooting the film. Often you’ll only be doing one or two lines, maybe ‘cos the sound went funny on set, maybe cos you didn’t say them properly, but for Pleasure Droid the whole lot had to be redone because we shot in an Infinity Room, a big, white room with no corners, which looked great but meant all the sound was really, really echoey.

It took 3 hours of standing in that booth to record the, oh, 11 or so lines I have in the film. Over, and over, and over again. Cos first you have to get the rhythm right, make sure you’re saying the words in time with the flapping lips of your past self. And then you have to try and do it like you’re acting, giving a performance, even though you’re stuck in a soundproof booth while the writer and director are saying things like: “more wistful, but with higher energy, like you’re talking to yourself, but could you project more?” or “yes, just like that but less shit”.

I had to say “Ah, the Pleasure Droid 3000. Excellent choice. So much more than a sex toy,” fifty two times, which apparently was some kind of record for the studio.

Stephen Scott-Hayward (writer, pest): Do it again, but could you be more bright on the “yeah”?
James: More bright on the “yeah”. Right.
Stephen: And less gay. Could you try not thinking about cock when you’re saying it?
James: (to the sound recordist): Alex, do you have a cunt filter on the mixing desk? I’m getting a lot of cunt in my cans.
Alex: …no-one’s ever said that in here before…

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Writing About Art

The afternoon of our Story of Grass exhibition in June, Gus and I thought it would be a good idea to write little descrptions of the art. You know, like in a proper gallery. We did’t have any foamboard or printing resources but we did have lots of beer, a sharpie and these bits of card which we felt would add gravitas to our discourse, man.

So here, divorced from context, is some words: