Directed by Alex Kirkland and my bleached-blond Bristol-based coffee-buddy Stephen Scott-Hayward, this film is so deep the dialogue should be sub-sonic, never mind French.
short film
How To Tell When A Relationship Is Over
Heh. Well, you have to laugh. Because it’s a funny short film! Written and directed by Tony Roche, part of the writing team for The Thick of It and In The Loop. I like the pigeon.
The Big Story
I first saw this in the cinema, as it toured the UK supporting Pulp Fiction in 1994. Directed by Spitting Image alumni Dave Stoten and Tim Watts this is a great pastiche of old time Hollywood and features the vocal talents of The Riddler himself, Frank Gorshin.
The film has stayed with me all these years, and the last line in particular made me chuckle just because of the delivery, but I’ve only just now got the joke, fifteen years later. What a doyle!
We Sing the Forest Electric
You’ve probably already seen this. I know I have. But I think it’s lovely. For me, it’s the dancing beaver that makes it. If everybody danced like a beaver, why, this world would be… weirder. Like, a lot weirder. But more nicerer too.
Sunday – Short Film
Depending on how deep you want to go, Nacho Vigalondo’s Sunday is either a funny film with a simple-yet-clever punchline (the basic idea behind which is similar to one I had once, but hey, you snooze, you lose) or an allegory about what happens when you get so focussed on the petty concerns and trivialities of life that you miss the true magic happening right in front of you. Or behind you. Or behind the camera.
Yeah. Actually, that analysis doesn’t really hold up when you think about it so… don’t think about it. What can I say? I’m no Chris Tookey.
Great film, though.
Advanced Cat Yodelling.
For fans of cats. And yodelling. Taken from the sweetly funny “An Engineer’s Guide to Cats”. Youtube it!
Bewick’s Mambo
Bewick’s Mambo, the short musical film by Peter Snowdon, has won a prize at the Malescorto Festival in Italy, which it turns out is a film festival and not a convention of Spanish man-whores. Bonus! Anyway the prize couldn’t have gone to a nicer, or more deeply psychologically troubled man than Peter. Well done sir!
Plus I’m in it*. I play an old lady and a bear that’s au fait with the Dewey decimal system. It’s that kind of film. And it gives me my first ever mention on IMDB:
Goofs:
Revealing mistakes: James Harris was not available on two occasions when the bear had to appear in shadow, so other people had to stand in for him – first runner James Boughen, and later Lou Wenzel, who took time off from her role as the demure Eve to savage and, apparently, eat Adam alive.
It was a grand experience. I do love acting – it’s the one work-type-thing I do that I actually enjoy when I’m in the moment. Well, that and stand-up. I absolutely loathe writing, and directing gives me ball ache but performing makes me very happy indeed. Especially Even when I’m wearing a bra (which actually, now I come to think of it, probably wasn’t necessary. Particularly when I was in the bear suit. Or when I just wrote this blog. I’ll take it off. Later.)
*really briefly, but IT STILL COUNTS dammit.Moon Shot UK – short film on Future Shorts
The first English moon landing goes a bit skew whiff. Written, directed and performed by some chancer with a space suit.
Don’t know why I decided to post this today. For some reason the word “moonwalk” has been floating around my brain. Inexplicable!
Head Shot – brilliant short film
Directed by Dennis Heaton, who wrote the zom-com Fido, this brilliant short features a terrible actor unwittingly auditioning for a snuff movie.
See, this is what short films should be like. None of this “ooh, int being homeless / alcoholic / abused /a paedophile horrible” award-winning bollocks. Grr.
I’m Playing Glastonbury

Sigh. I wish.
Still, two of my films, Moon Shot UK and Come Back are playing at the Village Screen (sited at the meeting point at the festival, one of the busiest places on the site) between 10:00 and 03:00 every day from 22-26th June. Glastonbury Festival is a complete sell out, and will be attended by 350,000 people, many of them wearing big, colourful hats.
Me and my ukelele are not invited.