Fact File #5: The Vikings

Vikings had long hair, moustaches and spoke a bit like the Swedish chef off The Muppets. Ooh, scary.

Wednesday was named afer the Viking god Wodin, Thursday was named after his son Thor, Friday was named after his wife Freya and Saturday was named after Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday were just named after days of the week.

If you see a Viking at a bus stop, do not get on the same bus as him as it is probably going to the snowy wastes of Asgard, no stopping. And the sandwiches are really expensive at Asgard bus station.

Contrary to what you might have seen at York’s Yorvik centre, Vikings were actually quite realistic.

Only one Viking helmet has ever been found, in a Viking grave in south Norway. It didn’t have horns, but it did have a little propeller on the top.

Vikings called their long ships “longships” and their long houses “longhouses”. This just demonstrates the basic lack of imagination which meant they couldn’t stay in on an evening and entertain themselves with a game of charades or Boggle or consensual sex; hence all the going out and rape and pillage and whatnot.

The word “Viking” came originally from the verb “to vike”, meaning “to have long hair, a moustache and speak a bit like the Swedish chef off The Muppets.”

More facts next time, fact fans!