Shock Exit For Sidney

Shock Exit For Sidney is a feature-length comedy screenplay I’ve been working on as part of NFM and Screen Yorkshire’s Triangle scheme. Through Triangle I’ve hooked up with producer Sarah Brocklehurst (who produced Black Pond) and director Duska Zagorac and together we’re pretty determined to make a big, silly comedy about a man and his kettle (kettle pictured not necessarily kettle from the film. Unless its agent stops playing hardball).

Here’s a news thing about the scheme…

NORTH EAST TALENT PROGRESSES TO TRIANGLE FINAL

‘Course, now I have to write the thing. That kettle isn’t going to write its own dialogue. Luckily I just bought some software that might help.

Rough Cuts Podcast

Series two of the Comedy Unit’s Rough Cuts podcast started… uh… at some point in the past, and I am squatting in the middle of the first episode doing my two voices (posh and slightly less posh but louder). I am also wearing a wig and two different moustaches, one below each nipple, but you’d have to listen really hard to hear that.

Here’s a link: Rough Cuts Podcast Ep 1

From the site: Series 2 is made up entirely of clips sent in by the contributors themselves and is presented by the fantastic comedian Mark Nelson. In this first episode Mark introduces Endemic Comedy, Ross Main as Dogshit Johnson, James Harris, The Impenetrable Click, *Matthew Ellis and Tommy Mackay as The Sensational Alex Salmond Gastric Band. Produced by Chris Grady.

HEAVY PETTING

We are good at sketches. Want us to prove it? Come and see us sketch at these times and places:

8th August
Red Raw, The Stand, Newcastle
8.30
Another ten minute spot at the North’s best new comedy night.

10th August
Blu Bar, Middlesbrough
7pm, £2
This is our first and only Edinburgh preview. We will make lots of textbook errors for your entertainment and our education. Come and watch this.

16th-26th Aug
Heavy Petting Live
Bar 50, 11pm, Edinburgh 11.05-12.05 FREE
Our Edinburgh show, part of the Free Festival. This will be the tits, I promise.
Details here

12th September
Red Raw
The Stand, Newcastle 8.30pm
Another nother ten minuter.

28th September
Casa Bellini
People’s Theatre, Newcastle
Burlesque and bawdy sketches. Always a treat!

Summer Loliday

I run a sketch group at our local arts centre, ARC in Stockton. I’ve done it for two years now, and we’ve staged 15 performances of 5 shows so far, and this one is definitely the sixth. The show is written and performed by whoever turns up on a Thursday night, and this show has a cast of 29. 29! That’s a huge cast for a sketch show, bigger than, like, Three of a Kind and Hale and Pace combined!

If you’re wondering how I contribute: I script edit, dump any sketch that mentions chavs or parmos, and make everyone say their lines louder. It’s fun.

Come along to the show. I guarantee it’s got a lot of bananas in it. Nice, if you like bananas. And if you fancy being in the show next time, come along on a Thursday night. We start again in September. Bring your own bananas.

Where Can I Send My Sketches?


As part of my work for Writers’ Block I run 1-1 mentoring sessions for writers, many of whom are writing sketches. And they all want to know – where can I send them? Sadly, there don’t seem to be many places in the UK that accept unsolicited sketches, but there are one or two opportunities to keep your eye on.

Cofilmic Sketch in the City

What is it? A monthly live showcase of new sketch writing. Currently limited to writers in the North of England. Submit your 3 minute, three character sketch and maybe it’ll get performed.

Will it help my career?

The best of the crop, selected from each night, will be submitted for the COFILMIC Comedy Film Festival live sketchwriting competition on 29th October 2012. A panel of top industry experts (as
well as the audience) will vote for their favourite and the winner will have their sketch made into a short film for the following years competition!

You never know…

Link: Cofilmic Sketch in the City

The Treason Show

What is it? A slick and irreverent satirical topical comedy sketch show, based on the news and current affairs. Written by a team of over 40 writers and performed by a team of multi-talented satirical sketch performers.

Will it help my career? Can’t hurt.

Link: Treason Show Writers Guidelines

Newsrevue

What is it? Newsrevue is a weekly, fast-paced show of hilarious sketches and songs based on absolutely anything in the news—politics, sport, celebrities—from The Lords to Lords, from the Middle East’s Jordan to the Sun’s Jordan.

Will it Help my career?

Over the years, the show has won the Fringe First Award and a Perrier nomination in Edinburgh, won rave reviews from the national press, recorded many TV & radio specials and helped begin the careers of Rory Bremner, Michelle Collins, Josie Lawrence & Bill Bailey.

So… perhaps!

Link: Newsrevue writers page.

Where Else Can I Find Out About Opportunities?

It’s as well to keep an eye out on the BBC Writersroom, in case a show like Newsjack is seeking sketches.

Also the Writing Opportunities section on the British Comedy Guide forums will often flag up interesting stuff.

Basically, though, if you can somehow take control of your own sketches, by joining or starting up a sketch group, doing live shows, making short films, anything that gets your writing off the page and into a form that can be experienced rather than read, you’ll find your own voice much quicker, and you’ll have sketches to show people, which is always a step up from having sketches for people to read.

Do it yourself! Punk rock! Revolution! Seize the means of production! Or write a funny song about how fat John Prescott is for NewsRevue. Whichever you’d prefer.

Writing a Sitcom – Creating Characters

If, for example, you were writing a sitcom, and you were researching your favourite sitcoms to find nuggets of character-creating inspiration, this is the sort of stuff you might find. If you were doing that.

Here’s Dan Harmon on creating characters:

Write your pilot before you know everything about these people. Let the story establish little pieces of them, don’t fill your script with facts about fictional strangers, fill your script with things happening to fictional strangers. Bring the atoms into collision and let your audience get glimpses of their nuclei as they repulse, neutralize and bond with each other. If you are capable of knowing exactly who these people are by the end of your pilot, you are probably writing a bad TV show. The good news being, I predict much success for you.
But if your goal is to create a TV character with depth, it’s the same as if your goal were to create a tree with height: you’ll have to be patient and surrender a lion’s share of your control. God doesn’t make a tree with hammer and nails. He makes a seed. Likewise, actors and audiences and time are the things that are going to give your characters depth, the best you can do as the writer of a pilot is provide the reader with evidence of that potential.

Mitch Hurwitz on the genesis of Arrested Development:

Someone told me once about this paradigm that exists: matriarch, patriarch, craftsman, and clown. It’s this quartet that resonates through history and popular culture, and you can find it as a diagram in everything from The Beatles to ‘Leave It To Beaver’ to ‘Seinfeld’. In The Beatles, you can kind of see it the clearest. You know, Paul is the matriarch, John is the patriarch, the craftsman is George and the clown is Ringo. So I wanted to get that in there, and I thought, “Maybe that will be the four kids. I’ll do a show about four kids.” As it turns out, Michael and Lindsay would be the matriarch and patriarch. The craftsman, to me, is Buster, because he’s a scholar and he’s serious, and the clown is Gob, because he’s a magician, and clowns literally are magicians. [Laughs.] Oh, there are some magical clowns out there. But I don’t want to make this an advertisement for clowns.

There’s an interesting breakdown of archetypal sitcom characters over at TV Tropes.

It is important to note that, unlike the Five-Man Band, it isn’t strictly necessary for each show to have a representative member for each archetype. Keep in mind that, just as in Real Life, the world of Sit Coms is awash in many various and diverse personalities, of which this is hardly an exhaustive list; so there’s no need to shoehorn characters into these categories. Some shows will utilize certain archetypes and leave out others, or may have characters who don’t fit into any of the listed types.

Of course, even when dealing with archetypes, it’s important to remember, as Garry Shandling puts it (when describing a Hank Kingsley character moment)

Everybody’s stupid, everybody’s smart. Everybody’s bumbling, everybody’s intelligent… We’re all different things at different times.

And that’s when your characters become human, I suppose.