blather

Leave a comment Posted on blather

Why Bother?

Kurt Vonnegut is wise

Kurt Vonnegut is wise

Still and all, why bother? Here’s my answer. Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.
– Kurt Vonnegut Jr

Kurt Vonnegut to the rescue. He’s talking about writing, but he could be talking about, well, everything.

Life is about the connections. You make them, you break them, you reconnect, or don’t, you make new ones, different ones. Better ones? Different ones. But always connect. You are not alone.

And I need to receive that message, just like you. Message received, Kurt.

I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”
– Kurt Vonnegut Jr

The sun is shining on me. I am happy with who I am and with the new shirt I’m wearing. I have a tasty coffee, an interesting life ahead of me and I am as free as a burp. Well. If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.

Leave a comment Posted on blather

Toast

Forget life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Or rather don’t, but recognise that toast with butter is a basic human right up there with the other three. Best eaten off a plate, all cosy comfy in bed.

What glorious magic occurs inside the toaster to transform a simple slice of bread into the warm and crunchy food of the gods?

There are only around three things in life more satisfying than the perfect piece of toast, and to be honest even they might be improved by the addition of a buttery slice.

It’s nice with soup too.

Nom nom nom! That’s all I’m saying. Hehe, it really is the little things…

Leave a comment Posted on blather, me me me

Bazookalele

Another musical day. The sunshine inspired me to open a bottle of Fentiman’s, lift my ukulele down from the top of the wardrobe and have a tinker and a strum. It’s not a great ukulele, it only knows four chords at the moment, but I’m hoping to teach it a couple more over the next few weeks.

Anyway, four chords is more than enough to write a song with, especially if one of those chords is a sad one, like D minor, so that’s what I did.

I can recommend strumming a uke if you’re feeling a little under the weather. It’ll shine a little ray of Hawaiian sunshine into your soul.

Leave a comment Posted on blather

Oasis Split

One of the guitars Noel Gallagher went diddle iddle ee with.

One of the guitars Noel Gallagher went diddle iddle ee with.

I love music. I love rock music. So when a friend asked me recently, “if you could meet anybody from history, alive or dead, who would you meet?”, as a music lover the answer was easy: Noel Gallagher. Dead.

Because I hate Oasis. I hate their music, their haircuts, their stupid, meaningless choruses. If they have pets I hate them too. And now they’ve split, which I suppose is a slightly less drastic solution than the one I proposed, but… ah, it’ll do. So hooray, some good news after the melancholic navel-gazing of my last post.

I thought I had the opportunity to put an end to the Gallagher’s witless, leaden, derivative drudge-rock back in the nineties, when Radio 1 ran a competition to win Noel’s guitar. “Fuck me”, I thought, “I’ll enter that!” but then I realised he probably had another one. Foiled again.

Leave a comment Posted on blather, me me me

Oh I Do Like To Be Beside…

Lemon Top!

Lemon Top!

Another day by the sea. Another mocha. Man, it felt like home.

I met an old teacher of mine, from 30 years ago. I saw him and thought, dammit, I have nothing but good memories of him, I’m going to go up and tell him. So I did.

“Mr Willis?” I said.

“Hi, it’s… James isn’t it?”

From 30 years ago! I was amazed. I told him I didn’t remember much about school, but I remembered that I’d liked being in his class. He seemed pleased.

“So James… What are you doing these days?”

Tough question.

“Oh, squandering my potential, as you’d expect. Your reports were totally accurate!”

So that was nice. I wandered around, read a good book (Hiding the Elephant by Jim Steinmeyer if you’re interested), sat on the beach, pondered. Frankly, I didn’t want to leave. The sooner I get away from the orange-skied delight of Middlesbrough, the better.

OK, enough personal baloney, we want a joke: So I grew up near a town called Redcar, which was famous for an ice-cream called the lemontop – basically a tasty, tangy yellowy citrus topping to the vanilla cone confection.

Mm, we loved it. Trouble is, is taught a generation of kids to not be afraid of yellow snow. So come winter, we’d be out in the snow and:

“Ooh, look, nature’s lemontop…

…ew…

…nature’s lemontop is tangier than Redcar’s lemontop”

And nature’s 99 was revolting.

Ba-dum-tsh!

Leave a comment Posted on blather, me me me

Music Music Music

All You Need Is Love. Yeah, but if you’re making lasagne you’re going to need some pasta as well*.

It’s been a musical day. Had a band practice: no stupid lyrics cos we’re well postrock innit. I got totally lost in music and forgot who I was for a bit, which is good. Especially when I forgot I can’t actually play the guitar.

Then later I recorded another song, thinking it was all raw and honest, but listening to it now, it actually sounds like Take That having a ballad. Not good. Still, at least it’s short. And sweet. Like Mark Owen. Aw.

*Seriously. Love is not all you need. God damn hippies. Never take relationship advice from a man with a moustache, I can’t stress this enough, people! Specially if they’re wearing paisley.