War! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Well, it did stop the Holocaust, Edwin, but apart from that, you’re spot on. Say it again…

Oh and it also prevented Star Wars from being a boring film about oddly-dressed characters getting along with one other. ‘Look out! Darth Vader is hugging an Ewok!’*

I wrote a song earlier. The lyrics weren’t stupid, honestly, they were lovely and personal and poetic and all sensitive about love and pain and that, but I won’t be playing it to anyone in case some ignorant blogger takes the piss.

*actually I’d probably watch that. And weep gently at the humanity of it. “That’s no moon. It’s a basket of kittens”