The brain of celebrated British comic author Alan Moore has announced that it no longer wishes to be associated with Alan Moore’s body.
“The very label of “Alan Moore’s brain” is, frankly, nonsensical and insulting. I wish henceforth to be known as ‘Nebulorr, virile and vengeful devourer of universes'”, the brain said in a statement released this weekend, continuing: “Or, no, actually I’ve always liked ‘Cyril’. I wish to be known as Cyril and worshipped as a deity and given virgins and lollipops every Thursday evening and I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. Any and all monies generated by the work I have produced in the past can go to Alan Moore’s typing fingers.”
Alan Moore’s body refused to comment beyond flicking two ornately-ringed fingers at its own head, where it is believed the portion of Alan Moore’s brain that intersects with our four-dimensional universe resides.
Alan Moore’s beard successfully separated from the acclaimed author last year, and currently writes The Gambols for the Daily Express.