Writing About Art

The afternoon of our Story of Grass exhibition in June, Gus and I thought it would be a good idea to write little descrptions of the art. You know, like in a proper gallery. We did’t have any foamboard or printing resources but we did have lots of beer, a sharpie and these bits of card which we felt would add gravitas to our discourse, man.

So here, divorced from context, is some words:

Bob Mortimer Likes Grass

Bob Mortimer holds a large, invisible copy of Grass #2

‘I liked The Story of Grass. I laughed until I stopped then started up again more firmly.’ – Bob Mortimer

That’s good, isn’t it? So now that Bob Mortimer has said this about The Story of Grass, there has never been a better time to buy The Story of Grass. And watch the new series of Shooting Stars, of course.

Buy The Story of Grass

The Story of Grass Flashes Before Your Eyes

Imagine these are your final moments, and this is what you see as the tiger lazily licks its lips/the fallling piano’s shadow pools around your feet/The Hooded Claw tightens the knots and raises one deliciously evil eyebrow as the train approaches with a TOOT TOOT.

Has this been a good llife? Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Things to do before you die:
buy a copy of the story of grass.
or two, in case you break one.
the rest, I dunno, freestyle it.

http://thestoryofgrass.bigcartel.com/

Bookmark

Mr Hughes and I were asked to design a bookmark for Writers’ Block (info here). So we did! This is it. We think it is the ideal shape, and that it will look excellent between the pages of your favourite book, perhaps with just the top 1cm sticking out to aid you in finding your place.

If you would like one, simply order a copy of The Story of Grass online.

Issue 2

Issue 3

Or just ask one of us for one. That’d work too.

The Story of Grass Exhibition Today

It’s the exhibition! I am an artist! You will all have to take me VERY SERIOUSLY INDEED now. That includes you, Mr Mahan, my old art teacher. Yeah, you thought I was rubbish at art, didn’t you? Yeah, just because I couldn’t draw or paint which is discrimination, probably, but LOOK AT ME NOW! I WILL HAVE THINGS ON A WALL IN A GALLERY, AND WHERE ARE YOU NOW MR MAHAN? EH? HAHAHAHA. WHERE ARE YOU NOW? AND YOU MR BLYTH! YOU THOUGHT I WAS RUBBISH AT CHEMISTRY BECAUSE I WAS RUBBISH AT IT BUT WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

Ahem.

Anyway AND YOU, MISS PEACOCK! YOU THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING BECAUSE I WOULDN’T KNOW PURE MATHS IF IT SAT ON MY FACE AND STARTED BOUNCING AND DOING COMPLEX EQUATIONS BUT LOOK – I HAVE PICTURES ON A WALL. OF GIRAFFES! PURE GIRAFFES! HAHAHA!

It’s no big deal, really.

Mr Gus Hughes arrives in the country today – I haven’t seen him for around a year and a half – in fact it was when we were both at Bristol Encounters festival in 2008 for the launch of our Chad Banger animations with 4mations, and instead of going to see short films and all that we got drunk on free beer and started doodling ideas for a stupid comic, which we decided to call “The Story of Grass” because we thought it conveyed excitement and dynamism and because we were drunk.

I can’t wait to see him again! And then we’ve got 90 minutes to get into the gallery, fling our stuff on the walls and start drinking wine and being sophisticated. That’s art.

It should be fun. Hopefully see you there! BUT NOT YOU MISS WILSON! WHERE ARE YOU NOW? WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOU?

ps It was hard to write this because looking back I rather liked most of my teachers at school and college, and they were all mostly ok with me. Except Mr Blyth. He was a colossal twat.

The Story of Grass #3

Well, it’s that difficult sec… er, third issue, and it looks like we’re just about done. I think it’s sent me slightly mental. I spent a lot of yesterday staring at pages thinking “perhaps changing the font will make it funnier”. And do you know what? In a couple of cases it did.

Interestingly, even though hardly anyone knows about it, and even less people actually have a copy, I’m feeling a slight pressure of expectation on this one. I was pretty pleased with the way #2 turned out: it was weird and (I hope) funny and it hit exactly the off-kilter vibe Hughes and I were after – that odd feeling I used to get as a kid reading the Monty Python and Goodies books. Particularly Python – I’d not seen the show or the films, but I knew they were supposed to be funny, and the books were, but they were also a bit disconcerting. It’s not something I can explain. It felt like I was immersing myself in a world that was 90 degrees to our own, and I guess a lot of the humour was going over my young head. But Gilliam’s art, and the weird photos of the cast, and the sense that there was no way of knowing what was going to be on the next page… I loved it but it was all a little disorientating. And we wanted Grass to befuddle in the same way, while also being about my jokes and Gus’ mad art. And, well…

That really is a lot of waffle for a photocopied pamphlet, but I’m proud of it.

Anyway. Grass #3 is finished. I hope it’s good.