Bazookalele

Another musical day. The sunshine inspired me to open a bottle of Fentiman’s, lift my ukulele down from the top of the wardrobe and have a tinker and a strum. It’s not a great ukulele, it only knows four chords at the moment, but I’m hoping to teach it a couple more over the next few weeks.

Anyway, four chords is more than enough to write a song with, especially if one of those chords is a sad one, like D minor, so that’s what I did.

I can recommend strumming a uke if you’re feeling a little under the weather. It’ll shine a little ray of Hawaiian sunshine into your soul.

Nature Anthem

When people ask if I have any ambitions: why yes, I wanna…

Taken from “Below the Radio”, Grandaddy’s compilation of tracks that inspired and influenced them. It’s a great album.

I swear, where I am right now, this could be happening right behind me. It probably is. I shan’t look.

Tucker’s Law

I might have to get one of those teatowels, although I suspect I may be one of the c-bombs in question.

Ths clip is an out-take, of course, from the simply excellent The Thick of It, whch I’ve just discovered is available in its entirety on YouTube.

It really is one of the best British comedy series of the century so far: witty, smart and profane, with suberb performances across the board.

I wonder, if Chris Langham had been able to walk backwards while appearing to walk forwards, whether the general public might have found it easier to forgive him.

Friday’s Short Story

storytellerGazing up at the stars that cloudless summer night, I felt compelled to speak.

“Hi God,” I said.

I didn’t believe in God. I had no faith at all. Then again, nobody I knew had any faith in me, and I existed as far as I could tell, so I reasoned it was worth a try.

“God,” I said, “I’ve made a mess of things.”

I paused: no answer. I took this as a cue to continue.

“Really badly. So, I was just wondering. Could you maybe help me fix everything? Make it all better? Somehow?”

“No,” said God, “Not really. Sorry.”

“Oh,” I said.

“I am sorry,” said God.

“No, it’s fine,” I said. “I didn’t really… I mean, I just thought it was worth asking.”

There was an awkward pause. I wanted to leave but… How do you leave the presence of God? He’s omnipresent. You can’t walk away from Him, you’d just be walking towards Him at the same time. So I just stood there for a bit.

“I could give you some advice, if you’d like, ” said God, breaking the silence. “For what it’s worth.”

“Right. Er… yeah, ok,” I said, “Why not?”

And he whispered in my ear. It was good advice.

It wasn’t really applicable to my current situation, but it was good to know that, if somewhere further down life’s winding path I was to get attacked by a grizzly bear, I’d know what to do.

“Thank you, God, ” I said. And he was gone.

Thinking about it, the last time God sorted out a big mess it involved carpenting a nice man to death over a long weekend, so I could see why he’d be reluctant to intervene in this case.

Me, I’d have considered it.

******
The Big Mess
by Harris
more tiny tales

Demetri Martin

There used to be lots of Demetri Martin stuff on YouTube, but now there isn’t. Oh life, why must you keep throwing such disappointments at me? Still, this audio-only version of his remixed jokes will serve as a taster.

He’s another one-liner merchant, but the way he uses music to set a mood, over which his whimsy can work its charming magic, is really effective. He also experiments with his stage show, using flipcharts, video and people dressed as planets. He’s a bit of an inspiration.

And funny, of course. I really admire comics like Mitch Hedberg and Demetri Martin. They are funny without needing to be “edgy” or cruel, and they write really good jokes. I want to be like that when I grow up.

Recorded for Training Purposes

Submissions are open for series 4 of BBC Radio 4’s Recorded for Training Purposes, a sketch show based around the loose theme of “communication”.

You can find the brief on the Writer’s Room website.

Deadline is Friday 2nd October 2009. As ever, it’s worth a punt, particularly as they’ve come up with 6 communication-related themes to play with:

Power
Idiots
Obsolescence
Instinct
Abundance
Lies

which may or may not help.

The Big Story

I first saw this in the cinema, as it toured the UK supporting Pulp Fiction in 1994. Directed by Spitting Image alumni Dave Stoten and Tim Watts this is a great pastiche of old time Hollywood and features the vocal talents of The Riddler himself, Frank Gorshin.

The film has stayed with me all these years, and the last line in particular made me chuckle just because of the delivery, but I’ve only just now got the joke, fifteen years later. What a doyle!